Traditions and superstitions have been around for millennia and were viewed as ways to ensure luck, fertility and fortune. Italians are certainly not ones to back down in the face of superstitions, especially when it comes to weddings. You probably know the old saying, “take it with a grain of salt” but did you ever stop to think where it originated? It means to view information that is misleading or unverified with a healthy does of skepticism. While we may view these traditions with incredulity, it is still fun to incorporate a few traditions from each of your backgrounds as well as a couple Italian customs into your big day. After all, couldn’t we all use a little more luck in our lives?
ITALIAN TRADITIONS Before the wedding ceremony…
Days of the week to wed…
Sunday is viewed as the “luckiest” day of the week to get married in Italy. A Sunday nuptial is said to ensure luck, fertility, fortune and prosperity. Meanwhile, Friday is viewed as the unluckiest day, as it is believed to be the day evil spirits were created. Tuesday (“Martedi” in Italian) is named for the God of War “Marte”. A Tuesday wedding was thought to bring misfortune and bad luck, believing the union would surely end in fights and rows.
Night before the wedding…
The night before the wedding the bride traditionally spends the night with her parents, thus ensuring that she will not run into the groom. This tradition is still widely upheld in Italian culture to this day. It is often viewed as the last opportunity she will have to be with her family before she begins her new life with her husband. Also, the night before the wedding, the bride traditionally dresses in green to symbolize good luck and fortune in her marriage.
THE Serenade…
The serenade (or “la serenata”) is a very real and highly regarded wedding tradition, especially in the south of Italy, where it is known as the “Neapolitan serenade”. It is thought to have originated as a public way for the groom-to-be to show his love and affection for the bride-to-be. However, the groom must formally ask the bride’s father for her hand in marriage and only after this step can the groom organize the serenade. With the help from both families, the groom is able to start planning. The bride’s family keeps her busy and occupied so that she is unaware of the group gathering below her window. Meanwhile, the groom’s family assist with gathering instruments, musicians, friends and family to watch.
The wedding dress…
Italy is synonymous with fashion and your wedding day is no exception! Traditionally, the bride wears white… and only the bride. Guests are encouraged to dress in literally any other color, except white. (Fun fact: Although not in vogue these days, in Tuscany, tradition dictates the bride wears a black wedding dress with a white hat!)
No peaking…
Many wedding customs around the world prohibit the bride and groom from seeing each other before the ceremony. However, it is still a practiced Italian culture that after the bride is coiffed and primped, she is not supposed to see her own reflection in a mirror. While this one seems a bit extreme nowadays, even they had a “cheat” for way-back-when. The bride can look at her reflection, but she must remove one accessory such as an earring, a shoe or a glove.
Groom buys the bouquet…
It is Italian tradition that the groom buys the bride’s wedding bouquet as his final act as a her boyfriend (or “fidanzato”), before he becomes her husband. Traditionally, the bride would be handed her bouquet outside the church, before she enters. However, nowadays the bride is free to design her own bouquet (everything has to match, after all), but as tradition dictates the groom picks up the tab and ensures it is delivered on time.
ITALIAN TRADITIONS ON The wedding ceremony
The groom’s good luck charm…
Just as we commonly say “knock on wood” for good luck, Italians “tocca ferro” or touch iron. Tradition dictates that the groom carry a piece of iron in his pocket for good luck and to ward off evil spirits. It is thought to have originated from iron horseshoes, which are a well-known symbol for good luck. Thus, grooms would carry an iron nail or a piece of a horseshoe to ensure a happy union.
Bride’s side of the groom’s side???
Believe it or not, there is actually a very good reason for the bride to stand on the left and the groom on the right. Since most people are right-handed, having the bride on the left would ensure the groom had easy access to his sword, should the need arise to defend himself or his new bride. While it is a pretty safe bet that this is not at the forefront of your mind these days, this tradition is a deeply engrained wedding practice.
The important roles of the bridal party…
In ancient Rome, bridal parties were quite extensive. Because the groom was busy with the ceremony, he had to let his guard down. The responsibility of protection fell to the groomsmen who were traditionally the groom’s most skilled fighters and closest confidants. Should the need arise, they could rush to the aid of the couple, should evil spirits or hooligans that would try to interfere with the nuptials.
The bridesmaids played an equally important role. It was thought that by the bridesmaids and the bride wearing matching dresses, the evil spirits (or worse) would be confused as to which one was the bride, thus, ensuring she enter her marriage brimming with good luck. However, over time, Italian culture has pared this tradition down and nowadays, it is common for the bride and groom to have only a maid of honor and a best man.
wearing and tearing of the veil…
The bridal veil, as with many wedding traditions, dates back to the times of the ancient Romans. Always trying to keep the evil spirits at bay, brides wore a veil in the church to confuse said spirits and allow the wedding to take place shrouded in secrecy and thus ensuring good luck.
Just as the piece of iron brings good luck and fortune to the groom, a tear in the bride’s veil is also said to ensure luck for the happy couple. While this seems a bit extreme by today’s standards (I’m pretty sure they didn’t anticipate how much veils cost these days!) it is still widely practiced and viewed as a harbinger of good fortune.
Breaking class…
In many cultures, the breaking of glass is said to bring good luck, and Italians are no exception. Traditionally, it has been a vase that was broken, with every shards of glass representing a year of happiness in the marriage. Nowadays, couples have adapted with the times and instead often opt for smashing a glass wrapped in a napkin instead.
showering the couple…
Nearly every culture celebrates the end of the wedding ceremony by showering the newlywed couple “rice” as they leave, to ensure fertility. These days, we are a bit more environmentally conscious. While some do still use rice, more often than not, you will find bird seed, flower petals, confetti or even olive leaves to rain fertility and luck on the couple.
The wedding reception…
Fundraising at the wedding…
This was the original “crowd sourcing”! Weddings, even on a shoestring budget, can be very expensive to organize. Between the cost of the wedding as well as setting up a new house as husband and wife, the couple relied on some interesting customs to help cover the cost of everything.
The bride would often rip her dress and sell pieces to family and friends to help raise money. Over time, this morphed into the introduction of the garter – which was similarly cut into pieces and sold. Similarly, the groom would have his tie cut into pieces and the groomsmen sell the pieces for the couple to raise funds.
Another fun little fundraising tactic is for the bride to carry a satin, drawstring purse, “la borsa”. Cold, hard cash is still the preferred gift at Italian weddings and said gift would be deposited into the bride’s satin purse. Another option is for the bride to wear the purse around her neck and gentleman, in exchange for a monetary gift, were treated to a dance with the bride.
sweet treat for guests…
Today, this tradition is still quite alive and well in Italy. The couple offers one final parting gift to their guests in the form of a “bomboniere” or wedding favor. These are most often candy-covered almonds and represent both the sweet and savory flavor in a marriage. There are always presented in fives, in either a box or bag, with the number five symbolizing: wealth, health, happiness, long life and fertility.
This is clearly not an exhaustive list of Italian wedding traditions, but certainly a fun list of possibilities to include in your celebration. Every wedding should be a direct reflection of you and your spouse’s lives. I would encourage you to incorporate traditions from both of your sides, as well as a few from Italy. If you could ensure a little extra luck in your future by incorporating one or two… who are we to ignore the traditions and customs that have served the Italians quite well for hundreds of years? Let Unique Events in Tuscany plan your wedding celebration and help you incorporate some of these Italian traditions into your new life.